Tales of Satan City 2
by super-calisto
Summary: Tales of Satan City2! Where the super sayajin spies have to dress up as ladies in the name of the law!


I did NOT invent DBZ DB or DBGT! So make the demon lawyers go away they already have my fairies!   
  
Tales of Satan City.2  
  
Sayjins in skirts!  
  
By TheOnlyOneKnobi!  
  
We join our hero's as they return from another successful case, now the office is filled with real files! And Goku (god bless him) has now started medication, the little blue pills are his fave and should be back to normal in no time!  
  
As Vejeta walked through the door of the grey office he made for the kitchen, he opened a bottle of vodka and poured himself a shot; Goku bumbled behind him saying. "Hey Vejeta can we get a pet? Huh? Can we? Huh? Huh? Can we?"  
  
"No way fur makes me sneeze!" Vejeta said as he shot a look at Goku, "Why, have you brought something home again? Did you forget what happened to Mrs Snuggles?"  
  
Mrs snuggles was a rat Goku had insisted was domesticated that he took home just after their case with Kurin's kidnapping, which had been two months ago, Vejeta was bitten 7 times before he shot it twice then put it in the blender that Trunks had given them for Goku's birth day, Goku cried for days before Vejeta took him too Goku's favourite restaurant Happy Burger!  
  
"No fair I never get pets!" Goku said huffily and crossed his arms.  
  
"And lets keep it that way!" Vejeta replied crossing his arms as well, Vejeta thought that this was just like living with 5 year old Bra again, but slightly less pink, slightly.  
  
Vejeta decided to change the subject.  
  
"Karrot! Have you seen that file I was reading last night?" Vejeta asked looking around. "It was big and yellow and important looking."  
  
"Have you looked on the floor?" Goku asked, the floor had doubled as a file cabinet, bed, table and vomit catcher since they moved in.  
  
"This place is a mess! You know what we need?" Vejeta said giving up.  
  
"More baked goods?" Goku said hopefully.   
  
"No, a file clerk!" Vejeta said firmly, Goku looked crestfallen.  
  
"Aw? What the matter?" Vejeta said realising some thing was wrong.  
  
"Hum!" Goku said turning away and crossing his arms.  
  
"Ooooh!" Vejeta said as it dawned on him. "Now its just a clerk, not a partner like you!"   
  
"Really?" Goku said suspiciously.  
  
"Sure whatever!" Vejeta said quickly and went into his bedroom. "Good night!"  
  
Vejeta slammed the door; Goku slumped then dragged himself to bed.  
  
The next day the sun rose over Satan City like a huge eye peering over a fence, down in the park the leaves of the trees leaves had turned brilliant yellow, soft copper and suspicious brown, a chill gave an edge to the autumn air.   
  
Vejeta smiled as he walked under the trees (by smile I mean smirk) he liked autumn, it was warmer than winter but had none of the cuteness of spring or summer.  
  
Sitting on a near by bench was a young man with short hair, glasses and a nervous look on his face, he was their next case.  
  
"Hello, I'm Vejeta Briefs (he kept Bulma's last name, humans seem to need them) we spoke on the phone?" Vejeta started.  
  
"Hey Vejeta? Can I have a ice cream?" Goku said looking longingly at the ice cream van.  
  
"No." Vejeta said without turning around, the client took out a cigarette and lit it, he took a puff and scowled. "About a month ago I wouldn't of dreamed of smoking, but ever since Shelly's been gone I've been smoking like a chimney."  
  
"Yes, you mentioned her before, what happened? Did you ever have a fight?" Vejeta asked.  
  
"No, we were always happy together, it had been, like, our 7th anniversary two months ago, and then she just disappeared!" The client took another drag from the cig then went on. "She didn't see any of her friends or her mother before she left and she didn't leave a message."  
  
"She might have been abducted." Vejeta said.  
  
"You mean by aliens? That's pretty unlikely Vejeta!" Goku said.  
  
"NO YOU BAKA!" Vejeta roared, he calmed down and went back to the other guy. "Did she have any enemies?"  
  
"No, she was as sweet as can be!" He replied.  
  
"Hmm, not much to go on, where was she last seen?"  
  
"She was taking the train to the East Side of the city, but she had to transfer half way through."  
  
"Which station did she leave from?" Vejeta asked getting out a notebook.  
  
"Panda station west."   
  
"Thanks," Vejeta said closing the notebook. "By the way what's your name? I'd like to know who I'm dealing with."  
  
"Oh, my names Johnny you reach me at this number." Johnny wrote his phone number down and handed it to Vejeta, Vejeta nodded and said. "Don't worry, she's probably fine!"  
  
"Thank you, here's a picture of her." Johnny handed Vejeta a photo of a girl with short green hair.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll find her, we charge 65 Zenny a day and 30 in advanced." Vejeta said while handing the photo to Goku, Johnny handed over the money and nodded, he then got up and walked away.  
  
"C'mon Karrot lets go!" Vejeta said deep in thought, he walked a way then realised Goku wasn't following. "C'mon Karrot! We don't have time to waste! Gotta long day ahead!"  
  
"Hey Vejeta look who I found listening to our conver- um convers- um listening to us talk!"  
  
Vejeta ran over to Goku, he was behind a bush holding......  
  
"Piccolo?" Vejeta said shocked.  
  
"Um, yeah, uh, you see I was..." Piccolo struggled as Goku held him, Vejeta noticed he wasn't wearing his turban or weighted clothes, he was dressed in a blue business suit with a velvet lining.  
  
"Yessssss?" Vejeta said menacingly.  
  
"I was, um, mulching! Yeah! I'm a plant! Very good soil!" Piccolo said with relief. "You can put me down now!"   
  
Goku let him go and he and Vejeta walked off.  
  
"Hey Vejeta? Did you see what he was wearing?" Goku asked.  
  
"Yeah I noticed it too, maybe he moved to the city when Dendae was kidnapped?" Vejeta was speaking like he was trying to convince himself, Vejeta had a feeling, one to do with that suit, it was just like a lawyer's suit, Vejeta didn't like lawyers, they used paper as a weapon and some could use it very well! (Plus it leaves nasty cuts. Adam.)  
  
"We'll have to keep a watch out for him." Vejeta said as they got into the car, as they drove off the bushes rustled and Piccolo stepped out and said.  
  
"Heh, you boys just keep doing your little cases, the master will get you soon enough!"  
  
Vejeta stared at the sectary from across his desk, she had a large bosom and aqua hair, just like Bulma Vejeta thought.  
  
"Uh, what are your qualifications?" Vejeta found it hard to keep eye contact, she just giggled and smiled, and Goku frowned.  
  
"Oh! I can type 15 words a minute!" She piped up, even sounds like Bulma in a way Vejeta thought.   
  
"And any thing else?"   
  
"I can give great massages!" She said smiling seductively.  
  
"All right we'll call you!" Goku said pushing her out the door.  
  
"Hey you can be next!" She said still smiling.  
  
"I thought she was nice." Vejeta said calmly.  
  
"Vejeta! Have you no shame!" Goku scolded. "I liked her too but I saw the way you looked at her! What about Bulma! We promised to never even think of a woman romantically until we die!"  
  
"But we see hoes every week!" Vejeta said amazed at Goku's faithfulness, Goku blushed and said.  
  
"We only do that to avoid any problems! You know how Napa got when you were in space!" Vejeta nodded, a sayjin that didn't get a near constant amount of sex nearly always turned gay, Vejeta smirked when he noticed Goku didn't actually say the word sex.  
  
"Fine!" Vejeta said giving up. "Send in the next!" Goku opened the door, a woman with big melons came in, and she looked just like Chi-Chi Vejeta noticed, no chance of Vejeta even thinking of touching her then, Goku just gulped.  
  
Goku got through the interview with the Chi-chi look alike fine, but he did say he needed a cold shower afterwards, Goku and Vejeta went through the entire list of sectaries until they got to the last one.  
  
"Goten?!?!?" (I had to give him a part! He's just so great!) Goku asked shocked, Goten sat in the chair with a determined look on his face.  
  
"Yes that's my name." Goten said.  
  
"Okay! Let's get this freak show started!" Vejeta smiled as he said this, it was great Karrto's son was coming to him for a job! What a loser family!  
  
"Have you got any experience?" Vejeta asked.  
  
"Yes, I worked for three years as a file clerk in the Satan City complaint offices." Goten replied, impressive Vejeta thought.  
  
"You left that job?" Vejeta asked.  
  
"Well no, technically I was fired, a little misunderstanding with the supervisors, three people died. But! No fingers were pointed! I just felt I had to move on!" Goten smiled as he said this. "This kids got style!" Vejeta thought, he never would of thought any of Karrto's brats would do any thing bad.  
  
"There's something about you... It's a good something though!" Vejeta said, ignoring Goku's frantic gestures to stop.  
  
"So any thing else?" Vejeta asked.  
  
"I can type 300 words per minute!" Goten said this with some pride, most sayjins couldn't even write well, let a lone type, not even Gohan!  
  
"Goten," Goku said, realising Vejeta wouldn't stop this madness. "Why do you want this job?"  
  
"Because! Ever since I was small I was amazed by words, I'm a slob most of the time but with words I'm neat and tidy! I can correct, punctuate and add paragraphs in the correct places!"(Jason sure can't - Kallista) Goten said smiling, even Vejeta was impressed! Punctuation and paragraphs! That was worth ten massages! Just then the phone rang, Vejeta picked it up.  
  
"Hello? The shelly case? She wasn't seen getting onto the second train? Right! Thanks son!" Vejeta put the phone down.  
  
"Think that as your first lesson in private eyeing!" Vejeta held out his hand so Goten could shake it, Goten just looked at him.  
  
"Was that Trunks on the phone?" Goten asked.  
  
"The job! Its yours!" Vejeta explained, Goten grabbed his hand and said.  
  
"Well gee thanks, do I get a gun?"  
  
"Sure!" Vejeta said.  
  
"Great I can't wait to tell the wife!" Goten said.  
  
"Oh by the way were do you live?" Goku asked, he was thinking that maybe having Goten wasn't so bad.  
  
"At the moment? We're parked out side!" Goten said pointing to a faded red car parked near by.  
  
"You live in a car!" Vejeta and Goku said, big blue lines streaked their face.  
  
"Oh yeah! Real nice! Leather interior, air con..." Goten looked into space dreaming.  
  
"Uh, why don't you move in the spare room?" Goku said.  
  
"Really? Wow! Thanks! It was getting kinda cramped in there with the baby and all!" Goten said smiling, Goku sweat dropped and said.  
  
"Great I'm a granddaddy!"   
  
"You already were!" Vejeta said, shocked that Goku didn't think of Pan.  
  
"Don't remind me! I was almost insane by the end of that journey! If Trunks hadn't been there to keep her give her something to slow her down! I would of killed her even before half a year was up!"  
  
Vejeta and Goku spent the rest of the day asking around if any one had seen Shelly near by the old city centre, the city centre had moved 5 years ago because a earth quake destroyed most the buildings here and made the remaining ones dangerous, only misfits, thugs, junkies and the Icebox gang lived here, the train station was still in use though, but it was sunset before they found any thing out.  
  
"Yeah, I've seen 'er! She's one of 17's girls!" The old whore that they found told them.  
  
"17? Is he a guy with black hair? Taller than me but shorter than him?" Vejeta asked, he had a bad feeling.  
  
"Yeah that's him! I can take you to him if you like!"   
  
"Sure, oh and here's a tip, things are gonna get pretty rough soon, so you better get out quick when it starts. Ok?" Vejeta warned her, her eyes went wide.  
  
"Are you gonna get that bastard?" She cast her face down, tears glistened in her eyes running her mascara. "He's got my daughter, she used to be so sweet, I promised myself she wouldn't grow up like me, to give her a future, but he came along and suckered her and all the girls on our block, they'd do anything for him, and a dose of ice pax."  
  
"What's ice pax?" Goku asked concerned.  
  
"A drug made by the Icebox gang, they never used to deal that stuff not until the new leader came." She told them.  
  
"Freeza!" Both Goku and Vejeta said this at the same time.  
  
"You boys got sumthin' against him? You know, 17 runs a lot of girls to his dad, King Cold." As she said this Vejeta thought about this, trying to think of a way to use this to hurt Freeza.  
  
"Interesting, OK! Take us to seventeen!"   
  
In Satan City many parts of town are abandoned, the old city centre was a maze of unused buildings and alleys, the streets were deserted, the old hooker led them through the winding streets, over rubble piles and deep into the heart of the city, the scared inhabitants fled at the sight of Goku and Vejeta, Vejeta only caught a glimpse of them but he saw they were thin and skeletal from lack of food, any money they found they used for drugs.   
  
"This is wrong! Why do they have to live in this!" Vejeta asked fiercely, he realised it was something Goku would say, but he didn't care this was wrong, the hooker saddened and spoke.  
  
"Some are born into it, like my little girl, others fall so far from the cream of society that they seek oblivion, the rest are here because it their home, the only one they know and they all share the same fate, no one here ever leaves."  
  
"Which are you?" Goku asked kindly, she smiled sadly and said.  
  
"I was a famous model, it seems so long ago I barely remember who I was then, my parents said I was too young." Her smile faded. "I just don't want to talk about it."  
  
She led them into a light well, a funny name because the fallen buildings blocked out the fading light, shadows pooled all around.  
  
"As soon as the sunsets he'll arrive, you better hide, he'll skin you and me if he knows you're here!" She shooed them into an empty building and walked down one of the alleys, Goku and Vejeta tried their best to get comfterable, after half an hour the sunset and nothing happened.  
  
"Hey, I see sumthin!" Goku whispered and pointed, suddenly the whole place exploded in light and sound, loud jazz music played and people filtered into the light well, they were mostly whores, pimps and their customers, the whole area was alight and people were setting up their spots when 17 made his appearance, he was dressed in a Yellow crush velvet suit with a purple polyester shirt underneath, a wide brim hat and platform shoes, he held a black cane in his left hand, the crowd silenced.  
  
"Hellllllo every body!" 17 yelled and the crowd roared back. "Well your too kind! But please, save your love for a close friend of mine, King! Cold!" The crowd screamed again and King Cold stepped out, he wore basically wore what he did when he died but it was white trimmed with gold and covered in gold chains.  
  
"Hello ladies." King cold smiled and a few whores fainted.  
  
"At least this ones not a gay." Vejeta murmured, Goku nodded and turned back to the display, King Cold was choosing girls to accompany him when Vejeta noticed a one with short green hair.  
  
"That's our target!" Vejeta whispered and pointed, Goku saw her and nodded. "Lets GO!"   
  
Vejeta and Goku smashed through the window and drew their guns, they fired a few warning shots.  
  
"Goku watch out!" Vejeta pointed at a guy who was drawing his own gun, Goku swung around and fired once, the bullet hit his hand and knocked the gun into the shadows.  
  
"Wow! Nice shot Karrot!" Vejeta said, amazed at his skill.  
  
"I woz aiming for his head!" Vejeta sweat dropped and Goku said. "Hey Vejeta, I just noticed that you called me Goku when he was aiming for me!" Vejeta frowned and ignored him, but he had noticed too.   
  
"Now! Quite frankly I don't give a flying fu- foot what you get up too, but I'm here for the girl with green-" Before Vejeta could finish Goku yelled out.  
  
"OH MY GOD! PAN?" Goku was turning white, Vejeta looked at where he was pointing, Pan was indeed standing there dressed in a yellow mini skirt and stockings.  
  
"Wadda ya want gramps! I's got business to do!"   
  
"Pan what are you doing here?" Goku demanded.  
  
"What are you doing here? Trying to replace grandma?" Pan smirked, Goku blushed and said. "We're here on a case!"   
  
"Oh yeah! Dad said you went nuts!"   
  
"Damn that Gohan! He just can't keep his goddamn mouth shut!" Vejeta said crossing his arms.  
  
"Well this is probably a family matter, you don't need me at all!" King Cold said, he threw a capusal down and got on the air scooter. "Bye!" The crowd stood there, gob smacked, then 17 started to try and sneak away, Vejeta glared at him and he froze.   
  
"King Cold was probably right, you don't need me!" He said rubbing the back of his head, Vejeta's glare grew more dangerous. "So, uh." He started to run after the shrinking King Cold. "Wait for meeeeeee!" Vejeta grabbed him as he ran by and 17 spent a few useless moments waving his arms and legs in the air before he realised he wasn't on the ground.  
  
"Come on Vejeta! I know that you use whores! There's not a person in town that gets off with out me knowing it! So why are you busting my little-"  
  
"Whore carnival?" Goku piped up, he was glaring too.  
  
"Well 17, there's a lot of reasons I could want to bust you." Vejeta put him down and got out a pack of cigars, (he does it for the look) he lit one and continued. "For one there's the fact that this is an illegal brothel or maybe because the enormous amount of drugs you deal or the fact that you sucker these girls into loving you, getting them addicted and then pimping them which I might add is not only illegal BUT MORALLY WRONG TOO!" Vejeta screamed down his ear. "But I'll let that slide, for now, I'm here looking for a girl with green hair called Shelly."   
  
Vejeta heard a small sound behind him, the green hair girl, Shelly, was standing there, dressed in the same loose clothes as the rest of the "ladies" in the crowd, which was quickly thinning.   
  
"I'm Shelly, and I know why you're here." She said. "Johnny sent you right?"  
  
"Yeah! But uh, why'd you leave?" Goku asked.  
  
"I took a shot of icepax and I got addicted at a party, I kept telling myself I would wean myself off it but I started to have money problems, that's when I got into this whole thing, I just couldn't face Johnny any more." She looked at her feet and stepped towards them.  
  
"Take me away from here!" Her voice was little more than a whisper, Vejeta nodded and Goku grabbed Pan and said.  
  
"And YOU young lady! You are going home to your daddy!" Goku grabbed her by the ear and dragged her with them.  
  
"Hey let me go! I'm a grown woman!" She protested.  
  
"Oh you just wait till I get you to Gohan!"   
  
Vejeta sat in the dark bar holding a scotch, neat, Goku sat to his left drinking something bright and fruity with an umbrella in it.  
  
"Y-ya know Karrot!" Vejeta slurred. "These kidshh theys got no reshpecta!"  
  
"Yeah! Like when the buh shus ya ur *hic* and the ya know that whole thingy!" Goku mumbled back.  
  
"Yesh! I agree totally with yoush!" Vejeta said putting a comradely hand on his shoulder, Goku smiled and fell over.  
  
"I think you've had enough Mr Vejeta." The bartender said, polishing a glass.  
  
"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGHSH!" Vejeta shouted, Goku gurgled and hiccupped again.  
  
"Another round for my friend here!" Vejeta announced, the bartender pulled out another fruity drink.  
  
"Wuh!" Goku threatened, the bartender sighed and put an umbrella in it.  
  
"Hey Goku! Here comes Goten!" Vejeta said pointing to Goku's son, who was approaching a stage for karaoke.   
  
"HEY GOTEN! WHOO!" Vejeta yelled as he put up the mike.  
  
"Um, hey!" The mike gave off a loud squeal, Goten winced. "My name's Goten."  
  
"Hello Goten!" The bar said and waved.  
  
"Um I'm going to be singing tonight Kids aren't alright, by The Offspring.."   
  
There was a small applause, the lights dimmed and the music started.  
  
"Trunks had a chance well he really did!  
  
Instead he dropped out and had a couple of kids! (whoa oh)  
  
Vegeta stays at home cuss he's got no job,  
  
He plays guitar and smokes a lot of pot. (Whoa oh)  
  
Bra OD and died  
  
18 committed suicide (Whoa oh)  
  
What the hell is going on  
  
Cruellest dream DB GT!"   
  
A few minutes later the song ended and the lights went up, Goku was lying in a pool of what may or may not be puke/piss and Vejeta was laughing his ass off, Goten sighed and called a cab.   
  
Vejeta woke up and a pang of pain racked his head, he was lying in his bed in his bare room with grey walls, Vejeta rarely used his bed room he had a perfectly good couch (Only when he couldn't find the couch did he use the floor, he had to be really drunk to not find it) he sat up and noticed a cup of coffee (black but no alcohol) and a slice of cold pizza they ordered last night was on the table next to him, he picked up the pizza and sniffed it.  
  
"Yuck! I hate mushrooms!" Vejeta made a face and put the pizza down, he picked up the coffee and drank it down thankfully.  
  
"Goten must of put this down for me." Vejeta thought. "That boys a lot more useful than I thought!" Vejeta grabbed the cup and got up, he walked into the living room and into the kitchen, Goten was reading the news paper and drinking a steaming mug of green tea.  
  
"Morning Vejeta have you seen this headline?" Goten passed Vejeta the paper, the front page said.  
  
Professional Pimp in the Poky!  
  
17 blames meddling sayjins!  
  
Vejeta smirked, after they got Shelly and Pan home safely they turned 17 into the authorities, Vejeta put the paper down and looked at the table, toast covered every free space buttered toast, French toast, non-buttered toast, burnt toast, dry toast, wet toast, cheese on toast, baked beans on toast and of course eggy fried toast, Vejeta shrugged and helped himself to some cheese on toast, Goku walked in poured himself a glass of orange juice and stared at the table.  
  
"What's with all the-!" Goku began but Vejeta just pointed at a smiling Goten and shook his head, Goku nodded and picked up some buttered toast.  
  
Just as Vejeta went to take a bite from his toast the phone rang, without looking up from the paper Goten grabbed the phone and said.  
  
"Super sayjin detective agency, Goten speaking. Vejeta? Sure!" Goten turned and passed the phone to Vejeta. "Its chief Popo!" Goten said.  
  
"Uh hello?" Vejeta said down the phone.  
  
"Hey there Vejeta thanks for bringing us that little gift, we learnt a lot more about the Icebox gang than we ever wanted to know!" Chief Popo had a strange tone to his voice, almost restrained laughter.  
  
"Uh yeah thanks, what did you want to ask me?" Vejeta got his bad feeling.  
  
"Well, we want you to get King Cold." Popo was almost bursting.  
  
"So? We don't know where he is and last time we saw him he ran off!"  
  
"Well, 17 says he can get you to him but....." Popo left it hanging.  
  
"Buuuut?" Vejeta really didn't like this.  
  
"Well to get to him you need to dress up as women."  
  
"What?" Vejeta roared.  
  
"Wait! You can get to Freeza this way!" Popo said desperately.  
  
"Grrr! You just had to say that didn't you! Fine we'll take the case!" Vejeta slammed the phone down and grabbed his coat.  
  
"C'mon Karrot we gotta go!" Vejeta said throwing Goku his coat.  
  
"Where are we going?" Goku asked, as he got out the car keys.  
  
"We're gonna see 17 in prison!"   
  
Goku smashed his way through the morning rush hour and parked (badly) in the visitor area of the prison, they walked into the reception area where chief Popo was waiting.  
  
"Ah hello boys, we didn't think you would come!" Popo said handing a clipboard to a officer who walked off, Vejeta grumbled something that was thankfully inaudible.  
  
"Come this way!" Popo said and walked towards the cells.  
  
Goku and Vejeta walked down the aisle, various in mates hurled abuse at them.  
  
"Rot in hell Vejeta!"  
  
"You'll get yours Goku!"  
  
"Fellas!" Goku smiled and waved, they finally got to 17's cell, he was lying on his bunk reading something with girls in it.  
  
"That looks like one of Master Roshi's magazines!" Goku said blushing.   
  
"Huh?" 17 looked up. "What are YOU guys doing here!" 17 crawled into a corner.  
  
"Why didn't he just blast open the door and escape while he had the chance?" Goku asked Vejeta quietly.  
  
"I dunno Karrot! Maybe he's stupid!" Vejeta replied, Popo opened the cells and let the sayjins in.  
  
"No! Don't leave me with these mad men! Guards! Guaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards!" 17 wailed as they entered.  
  
"Calm down knuckle head!" Vejeta said, leaning against a wall. "We need your help."   
  
"My help? With what?" 17 demanded, he saw Vejeta's expression and added. "Please?"  
  
"*sigh* We need you to dress us up as ladies." Vejeta mumbled.  
  
"Wha-? D-dress you up as *gulp* l-ladies?" 17 went white.  
  
"For a bust you retard!" Vejeta yelled angrily.  
  
"Who are you gonna bust?"  
  
"King Cold, we're gonna dress up as hoes and catch 'im!" Goku added his two cents.  
  
"Thank you Karrot!" Vejeta said sarcastically.  
  
"I guess it wouldn't be too hard, after all Trunks passed for a girl in space!" 17 said tapping his chin.  
  
"How do you know about that! KARROT!" Vejeta spun round and Goku started rubbing the back of his head.  
  
"Well Vejeta, you see!" Goku took a deep breath and spoke very quickly. "I told Kurin who told 18 who told 17 who told Freeza who told the Icebox gang who told the entire city and for god's sake don't hurt me!" Goku cringed and stepped back, Vejeta held his hand up to smack him one but calmed down.  
  
"It's okay Karrot, I forgive you." Vejeta held out his hand and Goku got, Vejeta then smacked him.  
  
"Ow!" Goku whined.  
  
"Okay Vejeta we can do this, but I have to have my materials in my, shall we say, work shop?" 17 said with a flourish.  
  
"If you mean by work shop you mean whore pit! Lead on, oh wise and disgusting pervert!" Vejeta pushed 17 out of his cell, signed the release forms and shoved him into the car.  
  
17 work shop turned out to be a tailor's shop in the up scale part of town, he made the out fits and sent them down town to his girls, as they walked in the tailor changed the sign from open to closed.  
  
"Sir! I heard you had been arrested! How did you escape?" (Kallista the master of all beings is taking over this fanfic because Jason knows nothing about women's clothing WHAA HA HA HA)  
  
"I didn't, I'm in the care of these two," 17 explained. "I need you to dress these two up as one of my girls."  
  
"Girls? Are you sure sir? I'm mean don't you think its going to be a bit I don't know blatant?"  
  
"Hey we can look like girls if we want too." Goku pouted. Vegeta just mumbled under his breath idiot.  
  
"I am the best." He announced quiet proudly. "So what kind of look are we going for 17 sir?"   
  
"I think we should just try to concentrated on the girl part first." He told the tailor while shoving Goku and Vegeta in two separate changing rooms.   
  
"Well that means under wear first I think the scowling one is a defiantly black and red type of guy .... or should I say girl." He pulled a strapless black and red satin bra with matching thong in to Vejeta's cubical. Then there came grumbles from it about stupid police chiefs with even more stupid ideas and a few curse words that would make a sailor blush.  
  
"And the dopey one is a pink person for sure!" The tailor passed Goku a pink lace push up bra and matching briefs. "Ohh they're so pretty!" Called Goku.   
  
"Ok come out lets see how its going." Calls out 17. Goku pranced out sing I'm so pretty oh so pretty. 17 just shakes his head at this awful, awful view and Vegeta has to be dragged out by Goku kicking and screaming. The tailor eyes them up and down "It won't work I tell you!"  
  
"Whys that?" Questioned 17  
  
"They got no boobies for a start!" He said while pointing at the two sayjins chests.  
  
"Well I never!" Goku screamed and cover his chest with his hands.  
  
"Oh that's easy to solve just a second!" 17 ran out of the room in to the back. "So nice place you got here." Mumbled Vegeta who's trying to keep his mind off the fact he's in lady's under wear. "Here they are, Boobies!" 17 holds up his hands in each one are two balloons filled with water.   
  
"Oh Kami! No way am I going to wear those!" Protested Vegeta.   
  
"I don't know Vegeta it may be fun I've always wondered what its like!" Said Goku while stuffing one down his bra.  
  
"You would! But I guess we have to." Vegeta grabbed his water boobs and stuffed them in.  
  
"Looking good. Guys now for the threads. Have a look in there for something you like." 17 said while pointing to the rails and rails of clothes.   
  
"Hey Vegeta what do you think pink or blue?" Goku asked while holding up a two mini dress's to him self.  
  
"The pink blue makes you look fat! Now what about this for me." He asks Goku, a full body cat suit to his body. Goku not liked being called fat answers "No it makes you look short!"  
  
After a hour of shifting though clothes Goku goes for pink plastic hot pants with matching knee high boots. With a crop t-shirt with no sleeves with slashes though it in wine red. "You look totally hot babe!" shouts out 17 when he walks out.  
  
Vegeta went for a even more smutty look of a dark blue crop halter neck top, black leather mini skirt with slit, over the elbow black lace gloves, dark blue fish net stockings and 5 inch black stiletto heels. "How the hell to women walk in these things?" As he tripped out of the changing room and on to his face.  
  
"Well at least your dressed for part now you need your hair and make done. We can go to the beauty salon next door for that!" 17 dragged them next door to the salon.   
  
"I'd like the works for these two lovely ladies!" 17 winked at the women standing in front of them.   
  
"Oh ok but it'll cost you."  
  
"Money? No problem!" He threw a whole wod of zenny on the desk.  
  
"Oh right away sir!" She clicked her fingers and 2 other women appeared out of nowhere and dragged Vegeta and Goku out of sight.  
  
HOURS LATER including all sorts of treatment and a wig(I'll explain in a min)  
  
They were ready Goku's hair was a side ponytail like misty's from pokemon the large tied up with a pink band. With pink lip stick and red eye shadow and long false eye lashes. He also had got some peals for his neck and arms.  
  
"Hey look at me I'm a girl! Wee!" He span on the spot, "Wee!" Vegeta had to be given a wig as his hair was far to short (as this is after GT) to style like a lady. His wig was dark purple almost black long to the shoulders spiky with two lilac strikes each side. His make up was black and blue eye shadow with black lip stick. Also one of the hair dresser had lent him a black studded chocker. "Even dressed as a women I'm hot. I'm even better looking then Bulma even was!"  
  
17 walked back into the room to see the end result.  
  
"Well, it's a damn good thing it's gonna be dark! I tell ya!" He said at last. "I just got off the horn with K.C. you'll meet 'im at 11:30 after the south market closes."  
  
"Got 'cha!" Goku nodded and led Vejeta stumbling to the car.  
  
Vejeta and Goku escorted 17 to the office to wait until 11:30, as they opened the door they saw Goten trying to make a fort out of corn beef tins (last time Goku went to market he bought only corn beef tins) the whole thing collapsed when he saw them.  
  
"Well hello ladies! If your looking for Goku and Vejeta they're not here right now." He grinned and added. "But maybe I can help you with something?"  
  
"It's us Goten." Vejeta said blushing.  
  
"Vejeta? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Goten burst into fits of laughter.  
  
"Goten you should be ashamed! You were flirting even when you were married!" Goku frowned.  
  
"Oh yeah! Guys, it turns out it wasn't my baby! So we went down to the court and got a divorce! I won half the property! 25zenny and half the car!" Goten smiled and pointed out the window, half of the car he owned was lying in the street cut down the middle with the driver's seat.  
  
"When he said half the property he didn't mean the car you said you paid that yourself!" Vejeta sweat dropped.  
  
"But I didn't wanna leave her with nothing!" Goten said.  
  
11 o'clock came and Vejeta, Goku and 17 left the office to head for the south market that was only held on Tuesdays when they arrived the stalls were just closing, they had twenty minutes till they saw K.C. they spent their time in Happy burger much to Goku's delight.  
  
When the time came they went to the Oskaua compound, the front for King Cold's part of the Icebox gang.  
  
At the gate a tall silhouette and a smaller one with spiky hair stood watch, they passed a cigarette around.  
  
"Uh, these are tonight's girls for K.C. guys." 17 said nervously.  
  
"Jeeze where did ya find this pair 17? Pair of dogs if I've ever seen 'em!" One voice announced.  
  
"Psst! Hey Vejeta! That's Uub!" Goku whispered.  
  
"Guess you've had slim pickings past couple of days huh?" A much deeper voice came from the taller one.  
  
"And that's Piccolo! I knew he was up to no good!" Vejeta whispered back.  
  
"Okay! Send 'em in!" Uub said opening the double doors, as they went in Uub tried to pinch Goku's ass but Goku knocked his hand and said.  
  
"Don't touch what you can't afford!"   
  
Inside light was reflected from every surface, the hand rail on the stairs was coated with gold, pillars of marble stretched from ceiling to floor and the furniture gleamed with polish.  
  
"Wow it's so prettyful!" Goku gasped.  
  
"I'm up here ladies!" A shrill voice called from up stairs.  
  
"King Cold!" Vejeta said.  
  
"You guys just don't get me involved eh?" 17 said nervously.  
  
"Don't you worry 17! In our eyes you've repaid your dept to society!" Goku said smiling.  
  
"Tell that to the judge!" 17 said glumly.  
  
"Don't worry, we'll put a good word in for you!" Vejeta said, he nodded to Goku and they dashed up stairs.  
  
"Stick 'em up King Cold!" Vejeta and Goku shouted as they ran in, guns drawn.  
  
"Why you two are feisty aren't you!" King Cold was sitting naked in a bath drinking red wine, he turned and looked at them then he jumped back in surprise.  
  
"It's you two! Oh no!"  
  
"Oh yes!" Vejeta smirked. "Where's your son and we'll shorten your sentence!"  
  
"Never!" King Cold pressed a red button and Uub and Piccolo sprang into the room.  
  
"Henchmen! Get them!" King Cold ordered, Uub and Piccolo took one look at Goku and Vejeta and burst out laughing.  
  
"Our secrete is revealed!" Vejeta said with a vain throbbing on his head.  
  
"Quick change! Yay!" Goku called, then he and Vejeta grabbed their "outfits" and yanked them off (you know how it goes in manga!) in the brief second they were out of sight they changed into their normal clothes with Goku still trying to yank on one pant leg.  
  
"Stupid two legged pants!" Goku pulled them on and whipped out his gun.  
  
"Sorry guys nothin' personal!" Piccolo said whipping out a gun of his own Uub did the same.  
  
"Yeah work is work, capache?" Uub grinned, a gun fight began with bullets flying every where and hurting no one, it went on like this for a few minutes until Vejeta stopped and said.  
  
"WAIT! I got a better idea!" Vejeta turned super sayjin, Uub and Piccolo turned white and jumped out the windows, Vejeta turned to King Cold.  
  
"I won't talk! Ever!" He announced.  
  
"Fine! Then we have no use for you!" Vejeta shrugged and charged his ki.   
  
"BIG!"  
  
"It was nice knowing you!" Goku smiled and waved.  
  
"Wait maybe we can talk eh?"  
  
"BANG!"  
  
"No stop please!"  
  
"ATTACK!"   
  
There was a rush of light and sound then the world returned to normal, all that remained of K.C. was smoking in a heap in front of Vejeta.  
  
"Come on Karrot before someone sees us!" Vejeta walked out the building and Goku followed.  
  
About a month later the whole thing blew over and Goku and Vejeta were paid, as they sat down to a toast breakfast Vejeta said. "You know Karrot I think going to re-establish my manliness by growing a beard I mean a real beard, not a silly moustache!"  
  
"Really? Then so am I!" Goku declared.  
  
"Then I'm growing my hair long and having a beard! I want to be the next Jebus!" Goten added.  
  
Just then the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" Vejeta had picked it up. "Missing person? Presumed dead? We're on the case!" Vejeta put the phone down, Goku smiled and looked out the window.  
  
"Looks like another great day in Satan City!"  
  
The End!  
  
Goten Grumbles!(Like sailor sez)  
  
"Dressing up as women can be fun!"  
  
Trunks whispers. "You should know Goten!"  
  
"You still do Trunks!!"  
  
"Shut-up-Goten!"  
  
"But dressing up like women can be a form of suicide!"  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Try walking into a redneck bar! Go on kids! Do it!"  
  
(pleases note Jason Meyers tells you not to listen to Goten he's just stupid.)  
  
"Hey! That's not nice!"  
  
"Who are you talking to Goten?"  
  
"Jason! You know! The one who's making us do this!"  
  
"Riiiiiight!"  
  
"Any way! Another form of suicide is to call Vejeta a name! As my lovely assistant Trunks will prove!"  
  
Trunks yells off screen. "Hey dad! You're a stupid poopy dirty monkey!"  
  
Goten looks at his watch and says. "And now we wait, 5 4 3 ."  
  
Suddenly Trunks is knocked off screen by Vejeta.  
  
"Hmm, he's getting faster! Try standing about 5 feet back next time Trunks!"  
  
Trunks sits up and shows a toothless smile he gives a thumbs up.  
  
"See ya next time kidos!"   
  
Well that's the end of another exciting chapter of Tales of Satan City! I hope you liked it! ;-)  
  
If you wanna tell me something then just email me at ministeroftruelies@yahoo.com  
  
In the next Tales of Satan City! Murder in the Son Mansion!  
  
I am the lizard queen! Actually I am Kallista the editor.   
  
Pirates! Scurvy! Swashbucklers! Yo ho! Shiver me timbers! 


End file.
